Two blocks that work together
In his course, Dr. Yuri divides the work into two big blocks. The first is self-control: don't ask, don't investigate, control the time, use the Trump Card, do the behavior X-ray. The second is improving yourself: being strong enough to step into the ring, having activities that aren't just numbing, caring for sleep and body, comparing yourself only with yourself, knowing your own values.
Psychotherapy first
The first recommendation is always psychotherapy. That's where you discover how each detail works in your story and which path is right for you. When intrusive thoughts take up the day and rituals are hard to stop, a specialist assessment is advisable.
The ring: only face triggers when you're strong
Nobody steps into a ring bleeding. If you're exhausted, sleepless, with nothing holding you up, any stone knocks you down. That's why treatment isn't just crisis technique. It's also emotional balance: active activities instead of numbing, ten minutes of quality time with the person you love, exercise, hobbies, the Positive Journal.
How to tell you're getting better
I still felt jealous is a poor measure. Measure what changes: how many repeated questions, how many checks, how much time ruminating, how long until you're back to normal. Going from two hours of rumination to twenty minutes is progress, even with the jealousy still there. And a relapse isn't proof you can't do it: it's part of the path.
Where the app fits
Before Me brings the course lessons to your phone, organized into the 12 stages of the PRO Method, and puts the crisis tools one tap away: the Campfire, the Trump Card, fact or film, the X-ray. It doesn't replace therapy.
What to do today
- Do the X-ray of your last jealousy episode and find the function of what you do.
- Choose one self-control tool for next week, for example the Campfire.
- Choose one strengthening action a day: sleep better, move your body, ten minutes of quality time.
The first thing I will always recommend is psychotherapy.Dr. Yuri Busin, in the lesson Improving yourself (translated from Portuguese)
Frequently asked questions
How long does it take to improve?
It varies a lot from person to person. What's usually seen is that intensity drops before frequency, and that measuring small changes helps you not give up halfway.
Can medication solve retroactive jealousy?
Medication may be indicated in some cases, for example when there are significant obsessive features, depression or intense anxiety. That assessment is made by a psychiatrist.
Does couples therapy help?
It can when jealousy already organizes the couple's routine, as long as there's no violence or coercion. In general it complements individual therapy for the person who feels the jealousy.
This content is educational and does not replace professional assessment, diagnosis or treatment. If you are in crisis or thinking about suicide, call your local emergency number now. In the US, call or text 988; in the UK and Ireland, call Samaritans at 116 123.