Not asking isn't swallowing it
When you stop asking, the feeling doesn't vanish right away. It needs to go somewhere. Without an outlet it becomes pressure, and pressure tends to escape at the worst moment, as an argument or an interrogation.
Write or talk, on your own
The action proposed in the first course is simple: write or talk, as long as it's on your own. A journal, a note, a voice memo nobody will hear.
When you project the feeling onto paper, it leaves your head. Some people crumple the page and throw it away. It's a simple gesture, but it makes a difference: you stop ruminating on it all the time.
Everyone has their own
What works for one person may not work for another. To choose, follow the same path as the method: reflect on what relieves you, set a clear intention to let the feeling pass, plan, act and evaluate.
In the app
In Before Me, the journal stays only on your phone, protected by Face ID. You write in the middle of a crisis and nobody else reads it.
What to do today
- At the next crisis, write for three minutes everything you're feeling.
- Don't reread it right away. Close the notebook or the app.
- After a week, notice whether the wave passed faster.
Each person will have their own; there's no magic formula.Dr. Yuri Busin, in the lesson Block 1: control (translated from Portuguese)
Phrases to keep
- Not asking isn't swallowing it.
- What goes on paper leaves your head.
- Everyone has their own valve.
Frequently asked questions
Can I vent to a friend?
You can, taking care not to turn the conversation into an investigation of your partner's past. The goal is relief, not more details.
Won't writing make me think more?
If the writing becomes a script of the movie, yes. Write what you feel, not what you imagine happened.
This content is educational and does not replace professional assessment, diagnosis or treatment. If you are in crisis or thinking about suicide, call your local emergency number now. In the US, call or text 988; in the UK and Ireland, call Samaritans at 116 123.