The eight indicators
- Triggers noticed during the week.
- Average jealousy intensity, from 0 to 10.
- Minutes of rumination per day, roughly.
- Repeated questions.
- Checks and investigations.
- Recovery time after a crisis.
- New responses you managed.
- Impact on the relationship: arguments, distance, repairs.
Why the feeling misleads
On a bad day, it seems nothing has changed. The numbers show something else: the questions dropped by half, yesterday's crisis lasted twenty minutes, not the whole night. It's the horizontal race: you compared with you.
The 8-in-10 rule
In the PRO Method, a step is the right size only when your real chance of completing it is at least 8 in 10. If you can't manage the week's step, it's too big. Shrink it until it fits, and grow from there.
Recording in two minutes
You don't need a spreadsheet. One note a day is enough. In the Before Me app, the Journey screen shows these numbers on its own: how many times the urge passed without wood, the longest time without asking, the week's crises and the 8-in-10 rule.
What to do today
- Choose three of the eight indicators to start.
- Record them for a week without trying to change anything.
- The following week, compare and adjust the size of your step.
Phrases to keep
- I still feel jealous isn't a measure.
- You compared with you.
- If it doesn't fit 8 in 10, it's too big.
Frequently asked questions
How often should I measure?
A short note each day and a comparison each week is usually enough. Measuring too much can become one more form of checking.
What if the numbers get worse?
That can happen in phases with more triggers. Look at the context and at recovery time. If it stays worse, it's a good moment to seek professional help.
This content is educational and does not replace professional assessment, diagnosis or treatment. If you are in crisis or thinking about suicide, call your local emergency number now. In the US, call or text 988; in the UK and Ireland, call Samaritans at 116 123.